You know love surely is tough... more than that, it is a huge burden! I loved him... God knows I've never felt like that before. Not once. For anyone. God also knew that that love was just going to be a burden for me, for him, for our firends, in other words it just wasn't going to work. Still I loved him, no, I love him. It is just so unfair that I am the only one feeling this way. Feeling like an idiot, feeling it was only me who ever felt something between us. The stupid girl who fall in love with her best friend. JA how ironic. However, in my case, this story didn't have a happy ending. Yeah it hurts. My most romantic memories are from him. I remember him at least twice a day while he might only think of me when he sees me online, but he never speaks to me. In fact when was teh last time we spoke? yeah we saw each other this hollidays but after that any possible existence of dialogue dispeared. It just vanished. With time I'll find someone else and for him it will even sooner I guess. While fo him I'll just be someone he once dated, maybe more, a friend, for me he'll be the first guy I trully loved. Once again people: WHO CARES? No one's going to die cause this love story didn't work, in fact time will erase any little proove of it's existence.
So I'm not writing this to get my anger out. I'm not writing this cause I'm way too sad. I'm writing this so that this important love I'm feeling right now will at least have one existing proofe I'll be able to lay my feelings back, to remeber it. You, yeah you who provoked me this fucking feeling....... THANK YOU(L) really. Yeah I know you won't change you mind (you might not even read this) but nevertheless you made me understand what I want in a guy, what it is to feel this for someone, for better or for worst. Just thanks, I love you and goodbye.
Yeah goodbye, cause I couldn't change your feeling in time. Cause you'll only remeber me as one of the amount. And mostly cause you didn't want to give me your heart.
So people love SUCKS it surely does, and this fact won't change. EVER. What it can change is people's hearts. I no longer lie to myself. I still love him and for awhile this feeling won't let me feel something for others, but today, feeling completly dumped, I can shout to the world that I won't let me fall into dispair, I won't let me feel unloved, and I definitly won't stay stuck in this space and time.
So, just thanks and hope we'll be able to restart sometime.
